Most Common Questions: Crush Edition

This article is meant to deal with some of the most common questions about crushes and one-sided attraction. Guys, if you want to know some of the concerns that girls tend to have, please read on. Girls, if you’re obsessing over a guy you have a crush on (or you think has a crush on you), this post should provide some clarity. Feel free to comment any additional questions you’d like us to answer in the future!

How do I know if he likes me?

To me, this is one of the most frustrating questions a girl can ask. On the one hand, I get it. You’re watching a guy’s behavior toward you, and sometimes it’s hard to tell if they’re just friendly or if they really like you. You overthink and over-analyze, and it leads you to obsess over this question.

Which is unnecessary, because the simple truth is that, if a guy likes you enough for it to matter (i.e. desire for commitment), he will talk to you about it. At some point, he will tell you how he feels, or ask you out, or, if he’s really brave, talk to your dad. Until that happens, you don’t need to think about it. Unless he’s being creepy, in which case you should talk to a responsible adult and limit your interaction with him.

But what if I like him?

A relationship takes two. If you like him, but he doesn’t like you, there’s no point in obsessing over it. Again, if he likes you, he’ll tell you. Do not initiate a discussion of feelings. Do not make a declaration of love. I know this is counter-cultural advice, but you need to be willing to wait for him. Does this mean you can’t talk to him at all? Of course not! A friendship is an excellent foundation for any type of relationship. However, you should be very careful in how deep your friendship goes. You don’t want to cause emotional attachments without an intentional commitment. Be friends, but don’t manipulate. Wait for him.

But what if he’s taking FOREVER???

Then take a step back and remember who’s in charge of your life story. God is, not you. Everything that happens in your life is according to God’s perfect timing. He designed relationships to be between a man and a woman where the two are equal in the sense of status, but He created women to be helpers (helpmeet) under the authority of their husbands. Let the man take the first step. Don’t rush things.

But what if my feelings are gone by the time he says anything?

That’s fear. If God wants you to be together, He will make sure you get together.

Feelings are fickle and change all the time. Don’t base your actions on them. And, if the guy in question does end up saying something, you need to be honest and thoughtful for yourself and for him. You don’t want to lead him on or end up hurting his feelings.

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