When Singleness Feels Hard

Recently, a few of my school friends and acquaintances have gotten into relationships, engaged, or married. Most of them, in fact. It’s hard when you feel like all the girls your age have someone special except you. Loneliness, anxiety, and depression can hit without warning. We can tell ourselves all the right things, remind ourselves that it’s just a feeling, and distract ourselves with other things, but that doesn’t get our minds out of that funk.

If you’ve felt this way lately, you’re not alone. It’s normal, which means Scripture has things to say.


“Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.
Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy—meditate on these things. The things which you learned and received and heard and saw in me, these do, and the God of peace will be with you.”
Philippians 4:6-9

God is not callous to your desires, requests, or anxieties. He is God, a Christian’s loving Father. If you are envious of your friends who are attached, repent of the envy (Deuteronomy 5:21), acknowledge your desire for a relationship to yourself and to God, and request it of Him. Take you desire and hand it to Him. Then praise God for His salvation, authority, and steadfastness and leave your desire in His faithful hands to do with as He pleases. Leave the throne of peace knowing that the God of peace knows your future. Trust His plan and His timing. These verses tell us that if we will do this, the incomprehensible peace of God will guard your heart and mind in Christ.

And that’s what we need, isn’t it? We need God to protect us from rushing into a relationship. We need Christ to protect us from being drawn away by selfish desires. We need Him to protect our minds from going where they ought not go. To protect us from infatuation, jealousy, backsliding, manipulation, bitterness… the list goes on. God’s peace will protect us from the things we do to ourselves and the things that others will do to our hearts and minds.

So we leave the future to Him. What’s to keep us from dwelling on it?


Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy—meditate on these things. The things which you learned and received and heard and saw in me, these do, and the God of peace will be with you.”
Philippians 4:8-9

Train your mind and heart to dwell on the things of God. We practice and do the things that we dwell on and think about. God will shelter you in His peace if you are focused on Him and the things He loves. He will lead you through His plan one step at a time, with some trials and tribulations along the way, and everything will happen at its appointed time.

Have no fear. Rest in peace.

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